Love is Not Love, That Bends With the Remover to Remove

Disclaimer: I'm going to go on a rant which some may regard as feminist, and some as old-fashioned. If you are neither you may want to move right along and ignore this post. 

The following are different meanings derived from the same word:

• a chemical compound used to remove paint or varnish
• a worker who takes the stems from moistened tobacco leaves and binds the leaves together into books
• an oil well whose production has declined to less than ten barrels a day
• a physical separation process where one or more components are removed from a liquid stream by vapor 
• the practice of running a syndicated television series every day of the week
• a dying trade in which film negatives are arranged in a pattern, which will create a series of pages
• a chicken fast food item
• one who removes their clothing, especially as a form of paid entertainment
• tool used empty tubing by applying pressure to the outside and moving that pressure along the tubing
• an instrumental composed by David Rose and recorded in 1962

Guess which of the above my relative's fiance's friends wanted at his bachelor party.  It's not hard, is it? 

Second cousin once removed might sound distant, but I've known the bride since she was a kid, she's now a teenager.  We share the same mitochondria -- her mom's and my grandmothers were sisters, mothers are cousins. And today I read on her Facebook her post that her fiance's friends wanted to hire a stripper for him, that it made her feel like crying because it involves things she considers private between them, and that when she told his friends this, their response was 'Don't be a baby, it's not like you're married' to which she added 'WTF I've been with him for nearly 3 years'.  

There were a ton of posts further commenting on this, including by his/her friends, her mother, and her prospective father-in-law, to various points that she should a) not hold his friends responsible but her fiance b) not care what he does on his final night c) hire a hot male stripper herself d) learn from a stripper's personal experience and walk out on him if he did anything stupid e) have her feelings respected f) understand it's linked to ancient fertility rituals and why or why not they're appropriate today g) avoid it altogether because you could argue about it for years afterwards h) lighten up

Seeing the posts ignoring and contradicting her feelings made me furious.  I didn't think it was my business so I didn't get involved, but the more I thought about it, the madder I got, on the following especially:

1) Whose relationship is it, anyway? Why are people telling someone how they should feel about what their partner does with another girl/boy, and what is right or wrong; isn't this subjective up to a point anyway, between each couple to work out what they're comfortable with and what they mutually view or agree on, as crossing their line of hurt and fidelity?

2) How can a serious relationship still be defined as monogamous more by law, than by love? As in, it's not serious until signing the license, then 'from this point on have to be faithfully committed/not free for others anymore'? 

3) Why isn't it considered demeaning or dehumanizing to hire a person, whether man or woman, for intimate/suggestive use of their body, who would not do it for free if they had the choice?  How many of the hirers would want their own fiancee/partner/family member to do the same for pay at a public party rather than privately and independently?

Last I heard, the issue is a moot point, since they've decided to party all together and go out instead. 

If you're wondering what I'd like for a future hen party, I'll take the oil well.